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Can I Talk to my Overweight Therapist about my Poor Body Image?

3/1/2019

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It can be tempting to withhold a feeling or experience you are having because you fear that your therapist can get hurt by it. I’ve had people ask me on online forums whether they can talk to their “overweight therapist” about their body image issues.

GREAT QUESTION!

Here’s my answer and you can swap out this particular issue for anything that you may be withholding from your therapist because you’re afraid you may hurt them!

Your reservations are understandable, but you need to remember that you’re going to therapy to get help, NOT to protect your therapist. Therapists are people, of course, and you shouldn’t try to deliberately hurt them, but your body image issues is something perfectly reasonable to discuss and something that you SHOULD discuss.
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For starters, keep in mind that despite your body image issues and your perception that perhaps your therapist is insecure about their body image, that may not be true. Not everyone struggles with body image in the same way as you may be. Hopefully your therapist is secure enough in him/herself to not be impacted.
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However, I can’t emphasize enough that it is not your job to protect your therapist. If a therapist is impacted by anything a person says, they have tools that they can use or they can use their own therapist (which is actually recommended for all those in the mental health profession.)

With all that said, if you feel very uncomfortable talking about this, maybe you need to find a new therapist. Your therapist needs to be there for you and for your improvement. If you can’t talk about things that are impacting you, then therapy with that individual is not in your best interest. If you have a good relationship with your therapist, I hope that you can get past that initial discomfort with regard to talking about body image with her, and that you push yourself to do so. This clearly is in your best interest.

Remember, it is not your job to protect your therapist.

Think about it in these scenarios;
  • You can’t not buy meat at the grocery store (if that’s what you eat) because you’re afraid that the Vegan cashier will be offended.
  • You can’t go to the nail salon and pick the color your nail technician suggested to you, meanwhile you don’t like the color, but out of fear of not hurting them, you accept the color.
These people are doing their jobs. You don’t have to intentionally hurt them and you shouldn’t, but you can’t protect everyone and sell yourself short. Your therapist is a person doing their job, they are equipped with skills to protect themselves, you don’t have to protect them.

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I hope you found this post helpful! If you know anyone else who could benefit from reading this, please share with them. If you have any questions, concerns or requests for future posts, please leave a comment or message me privately.

I wish you wellness and understanding on your journey to finding your State of Balance!

Also, check out my Youtube Channel for more inspiration!

You may also like these posts:
What to do When I Feel My Therapist Isn’t Helping Me
Therapy - Debunking Expectations
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    Stephanie
    ​Van Schaick

    I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY & FL that specializes in the treatment of Eating Disorders.

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