“I wish I looked like her.”
“I want her body.”
“She always has the nicest purses, she must have more money than me.”
Do these types of things sound familiar to you? Yes, I’m talking about the tendency to compare yourself downwards. Comparing downward means comparing yourself less favorably to others. Everyone else has better, is better and has more. You are always less than everyone else in your path.
“Some people probably wish they look like me.”
“Some people may want my body.”
“I have nice things, maybe I have more money than others.”
Do these sound familiar? If not, than you are not comparing yourself fairly to others. If you feel the need to compare yourself, you need to make sure that you are comparing fairly. There will always be people who have more just as there will always be people who have less. There will always be people that you deem as more attractive, but there are also people that exist that may be less attractive. Your Eating Disorder never lets you believe that, does it?
Let’s be real, comparing ourselves to others is a natural human tendency. There is a point where comparing ourselves is healthy and there’s a point where it is not. When comparing yourself in a healthy way, you may feel a boost of confidence or it may push you to compete and therefore improve yourself in some way. When kept in check, these are healthy.
Then there’s unhealthy comparisons. You know, the ones that make you feel like crap after. The ones that make you feel like you are less than everyone else, that no one could possibly be attracted to you, that no one wants to be around you and that you are the dumbest, ugliest and most boring person in existence.
Let’s enter reality now. There will always be someone who has more money, is thinner, has a better job, is smarter and funnier than you. On the flip side, there will always be someone who has less money, is larger than you, has a job that’s not so good, not as smart or funny. This is just the way of the world.
Of course, most of these observations are subjective. For instance, you can’t say someone is objectively more attractive than you or funnier than you. These are a matter of opinion. You may have leaned toward a friend and said someone is super attractive at the mall, and they turn back at you and ask how you think that. That’s because everyone has different tastes and like different appearances. Someone may laugh at a “dad joke” because that’s what they find hilarious while another person may find it dumb.
We need to check our tendency to compare, monitor it, and make sure it does not take over our life in such a way where it becomes a negative thing. If you find yourself comparing yourself downward, you must identify it and start balancing it out by comparing yourself upward as well. If you compare, you must compare fairly.
I hope you found this post helpful! If you know anyone else who could benefit from reading this, please share with them. If you have any questions, concerns or requests for future posts, please leave a comment or message me privately.
I wish you wellness and fair comparisons on your journey to finding your State of Balance!
Binge And Restrict Cycle
Eating Disorder Specialist
Healthy Self Vs. Eating Disorder