How to Guide to Surviving Thanksgiving with an Eating Disorder

Thanksgiving is a holiday that many people with Eating Disorders dread. It’s a holiday they may have once revered for the good food and good company, but the Eating Disorder had taken the joy from that. Here are some tips on helping you to get through the day, the food and family visits!

How to Deal with Family you Haven’t Seen in a While: Thanksgiving brings families together from all around the country, perhaps the world. These family members that live on the opposite side of the country probably hasn’t seen you in a while. Because of the diet culture we live in, you likely will get comments on your weight and body if there have been any changes. Let’s say you developed an Eating Disorder this year and your weight has dropped significantly as a result. You may be very unhealthy, but you may get positive feedback about how “great you look” and get asked about “how you did it.” Try to let these comments roll off your back since they are a perfect example of how our culture thinks, and will feed your Eating Disorder. Now, let’s say you have restored weight in your Eating Disorder recovery. You may get comments such as “you look so healthy!” Yes, it sounds positive, doesn’t it? But, in the mind of an Eating Disorder, this comment is the devil’s playground (or Eating Disorder in this case.) Here are some tips to help;

1. Think about what you are willing to share with your family members. Do they know you have an Eating Disorder? Are you open to them knowing about your Eating Disorder? If so, educate them. I’m sure your family members care about you and do not want to do anything to intentionally hurt or upset you. If you are comfortable talking to them about it, make a phone call prior to Thanksgiving and asking them to refrain from making any comments about your food or body size. Explain what you are going through and that you know any comment they would make has good intentions, but that it can be hurtful for you and your recovery. If you do not feel comfortable talking to them directly, ask a parent or another family member to have this discussion with them prior to Thanksgiving day.
2. Have a confidante! Hopefully, you have someone in your family who is aware of your Eating Disorder and is a support for you. Ask them if they would be willing to be your support should you need someone to talk to during the day or dinner if your Eating Disorder is running amuck or if there is something that is hurting you that is detrimental for your recovery. Sometimes, just knowing you have this outlet is enough to get you by. And if you need to, take advantage of this support. This person loves you and wants the best for you, don’t feel weird about it.

How to Deal with the Food: Now the other tricky part of Thanksgiving is the food! Typically, there are platters of food left around for guests all day long prior to the meal. What do you do with that?

1. Understand this day will be different food-wise: If you have an Eating Disorder nutritionist, plan with them for this day. How will your meals look different or should you stick with your normal breakfast and lunch during the day? If you are early on in recovery, your nutritionist may ask that you stick with your meal plan. If not, understand that this day will be different than every other day, and that is ok.
2. Allow yourself to have everything! No, that does not mean you will sit and have everything in sight and leave nothing for anyone else. But, don’t restrict yourself from anything you want. Remember, restriction tends to lead to binging later on (READ THIS POST HERE THE PENDULUM).
3. Make a rule that no matter what you will not purge: Let’s be real. It’s Thanksgiving, most people will overeat. That is ok. Overeating happens sometimes and can be a part of a healthy, balanced lifestyle. Make a rule ahead of the day that no matter what you will not purge. You eat what you eat, the fullness will pass, and you will wake up the next day. You do not have to compensate for this meal or day of eating.

Show Gratitude: Now for the reason that Thanksgiving exists...give thanks! Expressing gratitude can be done in many ways and does wonders for our mental state. Consider starting a gratitude journal (video here on How to Start a Gratitude Journal) or writing letters to loved ones about why you are grateful for them. Positivity allows less mental space for your Eating Disorder/unhealthy self to fester.

On that note, I am grateful for you reading this post and are taking steps to take back this holiday so that it is a joyful time again! If you think this post may be helpful for someone else, please share it. If you have any questions, concerns or requests for future posts, please leave a comment or message me privately.

I wish you gratitude on your journey to finding your State of Balance!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Check out this video!
How to Guide to Surviving Thanksgiving with an Eating Disorder (Part 1: Family)
How to Start a Gratitude Journal

Check out these blog posts:
The Pendulum
Guide to Fighting Back with Your Healthy Self
The Power of Gratitude