Therapy: Debunking Expectations

When entering treatment, we often have expectations. While creating expectations is normal, it is important to be flexible with them. Let’s talk about some common expectations one may have entering treatment for an eating disorder;

1. The therapist will tell me what to do: This is a common misconception one has when entering treatment. My new clients often ask me “so what do I do?” As much as we would love to provide solutions to “fix” the issue as therapists, we cannot because that would be far too simplistic for an issue that is very complicated. Your eating disorder did not develop in a day and your recovery won’t be accomplished in a day either.
2. Now that I’m starting therapy, everything will continue getting better: While this isn’t entirely untrue, recovery is not a linear path. There are bumps in the road and struggles that are encountered and introduced on the way. This is NOT a bad thing, it is necessary. Eating disorders usually develop as a form of coping with other problems that the person has faced. It is necessary to deal with these issues in order to move forward. Sometimes facing these issues lead to other struggles to deal with. This is ok, your therapist and you will work together to cope with what comes up. I often use an analogy of croqueting a blanket. If you are croqueting a blanket and realize that you made a mistake earlier, you will rip out the blanket to get back to that spot, correct it and move forward. You could continue on with the blanket without going back to that spot, but then you will always have that mistake there. When it comes to an eating disorder, there usually are struggles that occurred throughout life (the mistakes in the blanket), and you have turned to your eating disorder to cope as opposed to finding healthy coping skills. This is not something that typically happens consciously, but it will be something that is explored on a deeper level with your therapist.
3. The therapist will make me stop my eating disorder: Of course, the ultimate goal in treatment of an eating disorder is to get to a place of recovery. However, a therapist cannot “make” you do anything that you do not want to do. We can’t “make” you do anything at all. In fact, your goal may not be to enter recovery at all. When it comes to your recovery, my goal is to increase the space your healthy self is taking up in your mind, and thereby decreasing the amount of space the eating disorder self takes up. See the post “BATTLE: Eating Disorder Self vs Healthy Self.”
4. The therapist is going to make me gain weight: This is more the expectation of the person struggling with Anorexia or Bulimia Nervosa. Contrary to this belief, this is not our goal. Your Nutritionist will work with you on weight goals if weight restoration is necessary, but again your treatment team cannot make you do anything you do not want to do. In addition, the goal in the treatment of Binge Eating Disorder is not to lose weight. Weight is not the focus in therapy. Your therapist will work on the feelings and behaviors that surround food in an effort to create a healthy relationship with food.

It can be very scary and intimidating to walk into a therapy room for the first time. I ask that you let go of those expectations and just show up. If you have expectations, bring them to the therapist at the start so that you can discuss it. Together, you can work on creating goals that work for you and your life. My hope for all of my clients is to help them find their State of Balance so that they can lead a fulfilling and healthy life.

To you, the one reading this, I wish you a State of Balance in your life and much health and fulfillment.