Why Am I Not Good Enough?
Often times, with people struggling with Eating Disorders, I see a recurring belief that they are not good enough. I hear regularly “I am not good enough” “I am not worthy” “Everyone else is more deserving” “Everyone else deserves to eat, but I’m the exception.” All of these are various ways of expressing the belief that you are not good enough.
Now, where on Earth does this belief stem from? I’m not sure about you, but I have never heard the first words of a baby being “I’m not good enough.” However, despite this, it seems as though these beliefs are so ingrained as though it’s been a belief since they were in the womb.
Obviously, this is not the case. This belief and all similar beliefs are learned. Let’s explore where these beliefs may stem from. Knowledge is power and then we’ll talk about what you can do to begin changing these beliefs.
First and foremost, you need to understand that these words are not your words. This belief did not originate within you, these words were put into your head by someone else.
Likely, from a young age, someone was telling you that you are not good enough. The words may have looked different, however the message you received was that you are not good enough.
This doesn’t even have to have been an intentional thing done by someone else. For instance, you may have had a parent that was tough on you with regards to your grades in school. This may have been well-intentioned on your parents’ part, but the message you received was that you aren’t good enough.
The bullying voice inside your own head telling you that you aren’t good enough started with someone else’s voice and now you assume the voice is your own and it is the objective truth.
If you tell yourself things such as “you’re not good enough,” “not smart enough,” “not pretty enough,” etc. Think back to where you first heard that from, was it a parent, a friend, a bully or society?
It’s about separating what another person says from your own voice, and leaving space for something else to be true; you are good enough, smart enough and pretty enough, etc.
You need to actively work on separating their voice from your own. This bullying voice came from someone else and now is residing in your head and has stifled your own voice. Find your voice. You may find this hard, but consider starting with creating your voice to be one that is positive. Consider listening to positive affirmations and use these to replace the negative beliefs in your head.
Please share with anyone who may be struggling with this voice in their head. If you have any questions, concerns or requests for future posts, feel free to leave a comment or message me privately.
I wish you finding your own voice on your way to finding your State of Balance!
You can also check out my YouTube channel for more inspiration!
Consider checking out these videos also:
Are You Being Mean to Yourself (Self Talk)
How to Deal with Mean Comments/Bullying
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Binge And Restrict Cycle
Eating Disorder Specialist
Healthy Self Vs. Eating Disorder