Not All Trauma Looks the Same: Understanding Big T, Little t, and the Power of CPT in Healing
Minimalist graphic with a warm beige textured background. Centered bold dark gray text reads: “DOES THIS COUNT AS TRAUMA?”
Have You Ever Wondered If What You Went Through “Counts” as Trauma?
If so, you’re not alone. Many people question whether their experiences are “bad enough” to seek support. Maybe you didn’t go to war or survive a natural disaster—but still feel anxious, disconnected, or easily triggered.
Here’s the truth: trauma isn’t defined by the event alone. It’s about the emotional imprint it leaves behind—and how it continues to shape your thoughts, emotions, and relationships long after the moment has passed.
In this post, we’ll explore what trauma really is, how it shows up in everyday life, and introduce a proven treatment—Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT)—that can help you finally feel like yourself again.
What Is Trauma, Really?
Trauma is anything that overwhelms your ability to cope in the moment. It leaves you feeling helpless, unsafe, or out of control—and its effects can linger in ways you might not expect.
Trauma can be:
Loud and obvious (like a car accident)
Quiet and chronic (like emotional neglect)
A single moment in time
Or years of subtle harm that build up over time
To better understand the range of trauma, let’s break it down into two common categories: Big T and little t trauma.
Big T vs. Little t Trauma
Big T trauma refers to events that are widely recognized as traumatic. These are often life-threatening, shocking, or severely distressing incidents, such as:
Sexual or physical assault
Military combat
Serious accidents or medical emergencies
Natural disasters
Witnessing violence or death
These experiences can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), especially when the trauma isn’t fully processed or supported.
Little t trauma, on the other hand, is often overlooked—especially by the person living through it. It includes:
Ongoing emotional invalidation
Bullying or peer rejection
Difficult breakups or divorce
Chronic criticism or unrealistic expectations
Medical trauma, even when life isn’t at risk
Feeling unseen or unsafe in your home growing up
Little t traumas may not seem “big enough” to others, but their impact is very real. Over time, they can affect your sense of safety, self-worth, and ability to trust others—especially if you never had the chance to process them.
The Impact of Unprocessed Trauma
Whether Big T or little t, unprocessed trauma can quietly shape your life in ways that don’t always seem connected:
You may become hyper-independent, constantly on guard.
You might feel emotionally numb, overwhelmed, or like you’re “too much.”
You could struggle with boundaries, relationships, or trusting your own judgment.
You may replay painful moments over and over, or avoid anything that feels even remotely similar.
These aren’t just personality quirks. They’re often survival strategies—ways you adapted to pain when you didn’t have the support you needed.
The good news? With the right support, these patterns can shift.
Healing Through Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT)
Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) is a structured, evidence-based treatment that helps people who are stuck in the aftermath of trauma reclaim their lives.
CPT helps you:
Identify the beliefs that trauma has shaped (like “I’m not safe” or “It was my fault”)
Challenge these beliefs with compassion and curiosity
Reframe your thoughts so they’re more balanced and grounded in truth
Reduce avoidance and re-engage with the people and things you care about
CPT is especially effective for those who find themselves constantly overthinking, doubting themselves, or feeling trapped in painful memories—even if they’ve never considered their experience “trauma.”
Therapy That Honors the Full Story
In my practice, I work with clients across Long Island, New York and Florida who are ready to get unstuck—but aren’t sure where to begin. You may not have a diagnosis of PTSD. You may still be functioning on the outside. But if your nervous system is stuck in survival mode, if you’re tired of carrying what you’ve never fully unpacked—it’s okay to ask for help.
Trauma doesn’t need to be dramatic to deserve healing.
Your story matters—even the parts you’ve tried to downplay.
Your healing doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.
Not all trauma looks the same—but it can be healed.
Ready to Start Healing?
Whether you’ve experienced Big T or little t trauma, you don’t have to carry it alone. Trauma therapy is a space where your story is heard, your pain is validated, and your healing is prioritized.
Let’s talk. I offer a free consultation to see if we’re the right fit. Schedule your consultation call here!
Interested in learning more?
Check out our Coffee and Counseling Podcast session all about trauma on YouTube, Apple Podcasts or Spotify!
Coming Soon: You’re Not Broken: How Trauma Rewires the Brain—And What You Can Do About It
Ever feel like your brain is working against you? You’re not broken—you’re responding to trauma. In this upcoming post, we’ll explore how trauma impacts your nervous system, why symptoms like dissociation and panic aren’t your fault, and how therapy can help you feel safe in your body again.
*Disclaimer* - I am not a medical doctor and this post does not constitute as medical advice. This post is derived from my experience working with clients, research and collaborating with medical professionals.